Netflix Reveals: Guns N’ Roses to Perform as Cameos in Their Own Upcoming Biopic – Set to Hit Theaters in 2026
In a move that no one saw coming—but somehow totally expected—Netflix has announced the upcoming biopic Welcome to the Biopic, centered on the legendary rock band Guns N’ Roses. The twist? The surviving band members will make blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameos…as themselves. Because who better to portray a washed-up version of you than your actual self?
According to inside sources (and one very talkative roadie), Axl Rose is set to appear as a disgruntled pizza delivery guy who mutters “You could be mine” while dropping off a large pepperoni. Slash, on the other hand, will pop in as a mysterious man in a top hat who appears in every crowd shot, never speaking, never blinking—just shredding silently in the background.
Duff McKagan will reportedly show up as a financial advisor warning the young GNR cast about the dangers of fast money and faster groupies. “I made some choices,” he’ll say gravely, holding a martini and staring into the void. It’s unclear whether he’s acting or just venting.
Netflix promises the film will be loosely based on reality—emphasis on loosely. Early drafts of the script included a fight scene involving Slash, an angry llama, and the ghost of Freddie Mercury. While most of that was cut, the llama remains. “It just tested really well with Gen Z,” said a Netflix producer, shrugging.
Casting has also raised eyebrows. Timothée Chalamet will play Young Axl, mainly because his jawline can hit the high notes. Pete Davidson was reportedly considered for Slash but dropped out after realizing the role required “basic guitar knowledge and a functioning liver.” Post Malone is still attached to play Izzy Stradlin, despite not knowing who that is.
The film is scheduled for a theatrical release in 2026, assuming no one in the band sues Netflix or each other in the meantime. Axl Rose has already threatened to “pull the plug” if the movie includes the infamous “spaghetti incident,” but producers insist it’s “the emotional core of the whole film.”
Fans have taken to social media with mixed reactions, ranging from “Shut up and take my money” to “Didn’t we already live this movie in real life?” Meanwhile, Netflix insists the biopic will be “as loud, chaotic, and confusing as an actual Guns N’ Roses concert,” which they apparently mean as a compliment.
Stay tuned for more updates, deleted scenes, and possible restraining orders. Welcome to the jungle—again.
